A New Story:

When we finish telling the old story, then its time for us to create a new story. Some times I find in me a desire to want something that I cannot bring myself to want on my own. Sometimes I find me in the midst of company that I just don’t want, there are days when I want something until am about to get it, then I don’t even get it. I realize on many occasions that my story has grown old, very old, that I am called to get out of here to create a new story, but I fear that the new story will not be as good. And in those moments I realize that I have not written a new story because I have not been with ink in a long time.

The Depletion:

There are times when we are so committed to pouring out that we forget even to get a refill, we fall from a mighty high in an instant and the crash can be very devastating. We do not fall at once though, the fall begins with the loss of the strength to stand, to walk the required mile and distances that we have been walking before. And I guess that is why we never realize that soon we may face a landing. Time can be divided between using it and planning to use it, but what happens when we are without the direction of planning or the strength that it requires to plan. When we come to the end of what we know how to do, when what used to work no longer works, for us, then we realize that we have missed the point, that our ambitions have taken us far away from who we are and that while our deeds may still be noble, the motive has slightly drifted.

Separation:

It is always a bit hard to tell the distinction between being and doing, between who we are and what we want to be. While we are conversant with our desires, on many occasions we are without a clue of what we want and what we should want. There are days when I see opportunities melt into problems, parties turn into tragedies and I ask myself where in my heart the line should be drawn to mark the differences. In those moments I ask myself what is worth it and what isn’t, it gets confusing but I know that I am not alone. When one looses themselves to an event they never completed or have not yet completed, it’s hard to bring them back. Time may be invested in the process and counsel too. That all famous question of who we are, helps a lot. We may define ourselves by what we have, where we stand or where we want to be, whatever the definition that we may choose it has got to be one that will not change with circumstances or feelings. We have got to realize the measure by which we are not only rightly weighed but also, and most importantly, to which we are called.

The Call:

When we say that we are called, we often attach our lives to a great purpose here on earth, and in this case great has nothing to do with size, I am talking about contribution. We each contribute to life, each in a particular way, both the adorable and deplorable. Some call them jobs, others gifts, talents and so on. There are many ways by which we have contributed to life and our abilities are the God given tools by which we make that contribution. God has apportioned to each of us a certain measure of abilities and yet left us with the freedom to choose the extent to which we want to use these tools to contribute.

The Choice:

Some of us have chosen to make a huge contribution with our abilities and yet some others of us have held back. Now, there are reasons that have determined these levels of contribution and some reasons we have chosen, others we have not, there are those brought about by the choosing of others and there are those that are results of our choosing. But there is a choice that I have found to be greater than all the choices we can make with all the freedom we have. We can chose against the One that gives, or what He gives, we can go after the call and leave the Caller or we could seek the Caller first. I have not met many ways of satisfying myself, I have never met a better way to hurt myself than to choose against the Caller.

The Caller:

The Lord God, creator of the heavens and earth. He is the one that longs for us more than anything else, when we lose ourselves to some venture, worthwhile or not, we neglect the reality that we are nothing without Him. We may experience satisfaction in doing some good, but if we do not find the One that is Good, if we do not take time to see us as He sees us or defines us, we are bound to crash and what a mighty fall it would be. Mighty because when we are with Him, we stand at a very high place and when we are with out Him, we sink too deep. Sinking with no hope of rising again but Him.

The Rising:

To go back to the place where we were best defined, not by what we are capable of, or of our accomplishment, but by the Love that is greater than all error and perfection. That is my resolution, the climb may be slow, but it will pay off, for sure it will. Sounds like the home coming to me. When in solitude and we realize something, we can trust that realization more than many more that come to us because someone pointed them out to us. All new stories are created with Him, all my stories, both when am in safety and when my heart aces with great pain.