Marriage can be so similar to a
game of numbers where the result of putting any two figures together is largely
dependent on the symbol that goes between them. The symbols of division,
subtraction, addition and subtraction will affect the numbers only in the way
they are powered to; those symbols form the most important part of that equation.
The Power Of Addition +
When two people decide to get
married, they make several silent but very powerful confessions and agreements.
They take of themselves and give to the other, in fact they take all they are
and give each other. It is a process of volunteering to add to the other party
while allowing the other party to freely do the same in return. This institution
of marriage has been built in such a way that the addition has got to be free,
unreserved, constant and of content that can be received by the other party.
The couple will add to each other’s dreams, hopes, fears, securities and
insecurities and many more and this is a lifetime commitment and agreement.
This is why; it is not so much
what is being added as who is adding. There is a common mistake that emphasizes
ideological similarities and compatibility over spiritual similarity and
compatibility. The sons of God will only enjoy the full satisfaction from their
wives when such wives have submitted themselves fully to the daughtership of
the same God. A wife’s detailed understanding of business or
the mechanics of a car or even the greatness of the sex will never measure to
the beauty that comes from her love for and from God.
My wife’s relationship with God
is the single aspect of her life that has impacted all the other aspects of my
life. Her continual growth in the Lord has made her being a wife and my being a
husband much easier than her understanding of anything else would have. And this
is simply why, we as men cannot attain the full description of our nature
unless Christ is both on the inside of us and is our focus in a similar way, no
woman can attain the full nature of womanhood without Christ both on the inside
and as the focal point of her life. We have seen several great and not so great
women who, while they attain international recognition, were destructive of
themselves and those others whom they came to impact. It is as if their finest
beauty, talent and wisdom was the very force that destroyed all in their path.
It is not a game of being the
kindest, most humble or even most beautiful woman, it is simply a life of
manifesting the Christ that very much wants to be manifested in a woman’s life
so that her man and their children can reach the fullness of the image and
nature of Christ and even pass it on to the generations to come.
The Beauty Of Subtraction –
The process of becoming a man can
be very scary for many men even those in the church. We can blame it on the
absence of men in general, the fear of failure, the pressure that comes with the
demand to succeed or even the devil. No matter the cause, those scars if not
identified and brought to the healing table of Jesus can become cancerous
wounds that continually injure the man and those in his world. For most men,
these scars become the insecurities they attempt to protect with a false
manhood that only presents them as weak beings to varying degrees.
Now because the wife is the
closest person any man will have/ should have throughout his life, it is extremely
important that she will be a safe place to expose these weaknesses with the
hope that healing will be sought for at the hands of the Healer. Healing is in
Jesus and it will take a woman who knows Him and His power to see the strength in
her husband and not take the weakness as an excuse to despise him.
And yes, it remains the primary
role of the husband to ensure that healing flows in his house but we all know
that if he is hurting and struggling in his own steps, the wife should be close
by willing to support him through the process. The wife that has known her God
will protect her family from all those additions that are designed to weigh
them down and stop them from reaching the fullness of their potential. Her
trust is in God and from Him alone does she get the strength to keep her family
trim enough to make the journeys they were created to make.
In a similar way, husbands know
that the healing power of Jesus can only be applied fully to the daughters of
God.
The Grace Of Division /
There are other aspects of life
that cannot or will not be taken away from a man’s life like the responsibilities
of providing, protecting, directing and creating both a legacy and inheritance
for his family. These are heavy tasks that do not only require commitment from the
man but also the support of a wife.
There is a right way to fulfill
these responsibilities and that way will require a very strong commitment to
the Lord and the continual trust that He loves and is able. Because the wife is
the other eye both in the life of the man and the family, she needs to share in
this strong conviction that the Lord loves, cares and is able to do these
things through her husband’s life. She needs to be anchored in the same God the
same way.
The contrast would be a wife who
sees delay as weakness on the side of the man and who goes on to either employ
her strength or worse still that of the enemy. In marriage, we cannot share our
load if we do not do that in Christ.
The Joy Of Multiplication x
All joy is greater when it is
commonly experienced when it can be replicated in the lives of others. Because in
Christ we are all equally Kings and Priests, that there is neither male nor female,
only a marriage between the children of God will yield double fruit. I have
enjoyed prophesying over my wife and having her do the same over me, agreeing
as touching anything and seeing fruit I have especially enjoyed it when we shared
in fellowship with the Lord together.
In the hands of a godly woman,
everything good is twice as much and all hardship is half as strong because she
has set her heart on the Lord and He has chosen to delight Himself in her. Her
treasure and true gift to her husband is the decision to give her heart to the
Lord and only share it through Him. Every husband will enjoy the fruit of his
wife’s devotion to the Lord with songs of gladness.
