Reconciliation

Conflict (i.)

You are standing at the foot of a giant dark rock, thirsty and hurting. You remember that when you hit that rock once, it flows with dark water, salty too but at the same time, that water gives you the ability to live inside you, to live in the safety of your own self. The only reason it is dark is that the more you drink of it, the more closed in you become, and while you love being inside you, while you love hiding from everyone and things else, you are not sure you will enjoy being there for all eternity.

The temptation to partake of that spring is immense, you have stopped hating yourself for it, and frankly speaking you wish everyone would see you that way and that you would not have to explain every time you acted with in the best of your interest. This water gives you a special power to live in a place where you are neither interrupted nor demanded by any other being.

This is who you are when you hug and when you party, when you invite and when you respond to an invitation. Some would say you are selfish and others would say you are just self centred, but you will know that they are wrong. This is the only way you can truly evaluate what is important to you and when you are being real.

Conflict (ii)

You soon realise that across stands the same white rock with its sweet and clear water. You remember what it felt like to be able to want to have other people happy, to share all that you are with those others in the bid that you will perhaps make a difference in there lives. That is when it hits you that while you expected them to be transformed by your life, you expected very little from them and that was the limiting factor.

The desire to drink from its waters springs from a deeper inside of you; it almost makes you believe that you truly care about these people and their lives. That is such a sweet feeling.

Conflict (iii)

You are not sure which one of those rocks is your natural source of nourishment, which you are responding to because of cultural norms, and which attracts you because it identifies with you. You are asking questions and the answers, even though they are somewhere on the inside of you, are not forthcoming. Then you begin to realise the reality of the conflict, it’s not a question of what to do and what not to, it’s a question of who you are. The dark conceited individual or the bright joy giver. We have been offered many definitions of ourselves and still none definitely gives the answers that we can go to bed with and never question.

The Reconciliation;

Simply put blessed means that all things are going well with you and cursed means that all are going south. But is that true, is that how we feel, blessed in good and cursed in bad? I say that blessed is having the blessing and cursed is having the curse. The question then is what the curse is and what the blessing is. I say the blessing is having God in your life and the curse is having Him not.

The reality is that the spring is but a diversion, the real matter is who we really are and if we would love to continue that way. At the end of it all, we are to choose who we want to be and work towards being just that kind of person and that while we are at it, we shall take the time to weed all the pretence out and let those others whom we care about realise just who we are.

We are who we choose to be to other people but we are who we allow ourselves to be to ourselves, and therefore at the core of who we are. It follows therefore that the process of choosing should take second priority to the choice of allowing ourselves to be something. What we shall eventually choose to be to other people will depend on who we have allowed ourselves to be.